Revision

 In the terrible years of the Yezhov terror, I spent seventeen months in the prison lines of Leningrad. Once, someone "recognized" me. Then a woman with bluish lips standing behind me, who, of course, had never heard me called by name before, woke up from the stupor to which everyone had succumbed and whispered in my ear (everyone spoke in whispers there):
"Can you describe this?"
And I answered: "Yes, I can."
Then something that looked like a smile passed over what had once been her face.

Anna Akhmatova


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Steve Venright:  Manta Ray Jack and the Crew of Spooner


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Editing/Revising

First draft: It was one of those nights when you could see shadows dance across the lawn. I was sitting on my front porch with Chuck and Buck, two of my best friends, and we watched as the light traced patterns on insect flights.

Edited draft: Shadows crept across the lawn in the moonlight. My two best friends, Chuck and Buck, helped me watch the light trace patterns on insect flights.


START LATER AND EARLIER

Ending before the resolution is often really effective— bring the reader up to the point where the momentous thing is about to happen and then cut away. This leaves them actively involved in the story, wondering what might occur. The open-endedness keeps the ending energetic and active.

-Beginning further into the action

More active: the reader is plunged into the story, has to orient themselves. Is more engaging and active. Details can be revealed later.

“Try to leave out the parts that readers tend to skip.” —Elmore Leonard.

MURDEROUSLY KILL AND ALSO FATALLY ELIMINATE LIKE A VERBOCIDAL ASSASIN METAPHORS, SIMILES, ADVERBS AND ADJECTIVES

Can you eliminate metaphors, similes, adverbs and adjectives which are unnecessary or redundant and also not important or effective?

Kill unnecessary metaphors, similes, adverbs and adjectives. Kill them. Now.

STAGE DIRECTIONS

She reached out her arm to open the door.

Okay, unless she has mind powers and telekinesis, do we need the direction?

He turned to go down the next street.

He picked up the oars and pulled a few more strokes, eager to get to his favorite fishing spot.

We “get” he’d have to pick up the oars to row his boat, or that is a seriously cool trick.

Be active. Characters can “brush hair out of their face” “open doors” and even slap people without you telling us they reached out an arm or hand to do this. We are smart. Really.

BACKING INTO THE SENTENCE/PASSIVE VOICE

In an effort to break up and vary sentence structure, many writers will craft sentences like this:

With the months of stress pressing down on her head, Jessie started ironing the restaurant tablecloths with a fury.

Problem? Passive action. When we use the word “down” then “on” is redundant. Either she is ironing or not ironing. “Started” is overused and makes sloppy writing. That actually goes back to the whole “stage direction” thing.

Active:

Jessie ironed the restaurant tablecloths with a fury, months of stress pressing on her shoulders.

The door was kicked in by the police.

Police kicked in the door.

If you go through your pages and see WAS clusters? That’s a HUGE hint that passive voice has infected your story.

“ALMOST ALWAYS USE ‘SAID’ AS A TAG, HE SPAT EXPECTORANTLY.

“You are such a jerk,” she laughed.

A character can’t “laugh” something. They can’t “snip” “spit” “snarl” “grouse” words. They can SAY and ever so often they can ASK. Said becomes white noise. Readers don’t “see” it. It keeps them in the story and cooking along. If we want to add things like laughing, griping, complaining, then fine. It just shouldn’t be the tag.

“You are such a jerk.” She laughed as she flicked brownie batter onto Fabio’s white shirt.

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Some of this borrowed from: https://authorkristenlamb.com/2016/05/six-ways-to-self-edit-polish-your-prose/

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Read: "My Life is a Joke," by Shelia Heti. (Posted in "Content" on Avenue.) There's the text but also an audio version.